Saturday, July 08, 2006

Satisfaction and Happiness....not in my dictionary.

It's sad, right?
For a person like me, being intelligent, you would be thinking that I had a good school life, have best friends and such...but first impressions will always give you the opposite of who a person actually is.

For 11 years (plus this year too), I haven't been connected fully with another person..from the same school and tuition class. It feels like you're distant from everyone else...you feel lonely among a sea of so-called friends. Living far from them doesn't help much either.

And some of the 'friends' gave me a false meaning of friendship...well, it seems that they'll be nice when they meet you but will stab behind your back. I'm always aware of it...I've been into that trap many times.

But for some reason, you can't help it...in the process of making friends, you would to be in the crowd, without changing your own personality and life. You want to be a part of them.

I just came back from Anugerah Cemerlang in my school...and it re-ignited my saddest days. I was mainly there to catch up with friends whom I haven't met for quite some time...not to mention almost plunging into trouble again! Most of all, even though I caught up with Deborah, I just couldn't find that connection...the connection that makes you feel secure, happy and satisfied.

And I need to get back to the office after a few days...to collect my certificate! It seems that my class was typed wrongly...even the teachers thought I was in 5 Alpha! Haihz...

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On another note, I received a plaque and a book voucher worth RM25.00...for getting the best subject award. I decided to hand the voucher to Mom, it's more to her needs than mine...;)

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